10 reasons I won't watch 24 season 2

So I bought 24 season 1 at Target about a week ago because they had it on sale for 17.99. Not bad! This show came on the air during a time in which I wasn't watching much TV at all so I had only seen 2 or 3 episodes but I had heard a lot of great things about it, and Mariah and I have been watching some more TV as of late so I figured, why not give it a whirl? I bought LOST season 1 for Mariah for Valentine's Day last year without ever having seen one episode, completely on a whim, and it has been the best 40 something bucks I have ever spent, and I mean that in all seriousness. We devoured the entire season in a weekend and then proceeded to buy the 14 episodes that had already aired in season 2 from iTunes and watched them in another 48 hours so we could catch up with the show.

In those few frantic days of watching LOST my hope for TV was restored.

I figured it was worth it to take another shot with 24.

I want my 18 bucks back.

It was good, really good for the first 12 or so episodes but things started to go south really fast. We have been watching it over the last few days and my frustrations are still swimming around in my head so I thought it might be helpful to make a list of the top 10 reasons why I won't be watching season 2 (or 3 or 4 or 5 or 6) of 24, starting with 10 and working our way up. Yes, it probably would be more clever to do 24 reasons why I won't be watching season 2 of 24, and God knows I wouldn't have any trouble filling out the list, but I have already wasted enough time with this show. Ten is enough.

10. The whole "events in real time" thing is cool but make sure that you factor in the time you are gone for commercials. If you are doing an activity that takes 45 seconds, you shouldn't still be doing that activity when the show comes back from a commercial 3 1/2 minutes later. One example comes to mind...Ricky is in the water tower, after having been shot in the arm, Jack asks him if he has any loose clothing so he can tie up Ricky's arm to stop the bleeding, Jacks starts to tie up the arm...tick tock tick tock...commercial...return from commercial....tick tock tick tock...Jack still tying up the arm. Jack doesn't seem to be the type with that generous a bedside manner.

9. Speaking of time...time of day seems to be an issue that needs some work. 6 am to 7 am episode, filmed in broad, middle of the day, high noon daylight, with some fuzzy crappy light filter on it to make it look like it was dawn...end of 6 pm to 7pm episode finishes in broad, middle of the day, high noon daylight, 7 pm to 8 pm starts off black as midnight. The sun went down in an instant? Wow!

8. The show is set in LA and I have yet to see anyone caught in traffic. I have lived here my whole life. You may be able to pull this kind of crap with your viewers in the midwest, but I demand accuracy. (On a side note related to accuracy, even though this one probably deserves it's own spot in the countdown...I am a cell phone owner and I know that if you use it that much the battery will run out and there will be several spots in which you don't get service and underground in a top-secret prison is one of them.)

7. The whole "kill Sen. Palmer and Jack Bauer and his family" plot is so freaking complicated and intricate, no wonder "the Drazens" can't pull it off. I have no training whatsoever in being a bad guy but I am sure I could come up with a simpler way of killing someone than a plot that involves recruiting two teen age boys to kidnap two girls, having someone pretend to be the father of one of those girls, doing plastic surgery on another guy to make him look like a photographer, breaking some other dude (more on him later) out of a non-existent prison in Saugus of all places, seducing a staffer for the senator, bribing someone who works for the electric company, paying off turncoat employees at CTU, setting up surveillance cameras to watch Jack Bauer's every move, and countless other things that I can't remember because I just don't care to. The board game Mouse Trap thinks this is too complicated.

6. The Sen. Palmer storyline got old after about 5 episodes and yet it just wouldn't go away. The writers just forced things into that storyline to keep it going ("accidental fires" that kill the sons Psychologist). This family is a train wreck and yet I am suppossed to accept that America is dumb enough to vote for him for Presid...wait a minute. Moving on.

5. The only reason Jack Bauer seems so great is because everyone, and I mean EVERYONE else on the show is a complete moron. He is surrounded by jerks, buffoons, and all around unlikeable characters. Seriously, name another character besides Jack that is likeable. After 17 episodes I want them all to die, every single one of them. And there is no way I can accept a hero who has frosted tips. Nobody in CTU gives him crap about that?

4. The two worst characters? The awful wives, Sherry Palmer and Terry Bauer. Every second that they are on the screen I want to claw my eyes out.

3. The worst plot device? Terry Bauer's amnesia. I was literally yelling at the TV I was so mad. TV audiences deserve better than this.

2. Dennis Hopper? Nice Accent. I have heard better Eastern European accents on Rocky and Bullwinkle. How do you produce a TV show in which this awful performance gets through to the air? Did you at least have him audition and do a reading or did you hire him on the spot based on his resume? "Wow! You played King Koopa in Super Mario Bros. the movie! You're hired!" Now I know why this guy can't get any work outside of Ameriprise Commercials. I have 3 episodes to watch in season one and I don't want to go on because his accent makes me sick to my stomach...physically ill.

And the number one reason I won't watch anymore 24 is...drumroll...tick tock tick tock....

1. Jack Bauer spells his last name wrong. It's B-O-W-E-R dummy.