Angelina Jolie vs. Jennifer Aniston

I just had to post this here. I read Bill Simmons who writes here for ESPN.com. For a good primer on Simmons read his article on the Rocky movies. Recently he has started letting his wife, "the Sports Gal" write a few words that he puts on the side of his column. Here is what she wrote that just caused me to crack up.

I used to really like Angelina Jolie. Ever since she starred in "Gia," I admired her flawless natural beauty, as well as the many character flaws that made her more likable and less threatening overall. Maybe she was a recovering drug addict, a cutter, a brother kisser, and a blood vile-wearing skank who looked like she showered once a week, but she didn't care what others thought and was totally comfortable going out in public without tons of makeup on. So that made her likable, at least to me. Even when she married Billy Bob Thornton, who's absolutely disgusting, I didn't hold it against her.

Then everything changed: She adopted Maddox, became a goodwill ambassador, started making normal movies and slowly made everyone forget that she was crazy. Next, she seduced and stole the husband of one of the most likable female celebs, adopted another baby with her stolen man, then had his biological child months before his divorce was even done. Now she travels all over the world in private jets wasting fuel and pretending to do nice things when we all know she's really a husband-stealing witch. But what really turned me into a full fledged Angelina hater was this month's Vogue article about her, with Angelina smugly pushing for peace talks between her and Jennifer Aniston, even having the gall to say, "That would be her decision, and I would welcome it." If I were Jennifer Aniston, I would welcome it, too. Then I would meet Angelina for lunch and repeatedly smash a chair over her head.

That is some funny stuff. This is a cage fight waiting to happen.